27: Leadership Secrets No One Tells You—But I Will

The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is already there.

— John Buchan

As someone who has both led and been led, I understand the complexities of team dynamics. I’ve had managers who ignited my passion and others who forced me to reflect deeply on my capabilities. Likewise, leading teams has brought remarkable successes and humbling lessons.

I’ve realized that leaders often have insights they wish they could share, but the pace of work leaves little room for these conversations. So, let’s discuss them now.

We Don’t Have All the Answers (And We’re Not Pretending To)

There’s a pervasive myth in leadership—especially in design—that once you reach a certain level, you unlock all the answers. A playbook. A secret formula. Let me be clear: that’s a lie.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about navigating uncertainty with clarity, humility, and a commitment to learning.

When I was leading loyalty design at Target, we were tasked with reimagining the entire program. It was a massive undertaking, and the pressure was high. Did I have all the answers? No. But I had hypotheses, curiosity, and a team willing to collaborate. Instead of pretending to have a perfect plan, I said, “Let’s start with an audit. Let’s break the problem apart and figure it out together.”

That’s the essence of leadership—staying curious, adapting, and sometimes having the courage to say, “I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out.” Great design (and leadership) thrives on collective problem-solving, not individual certainty.

Leadership is a Mindset, Not a Title

Designers often say, “I wasn’t in that meeting,” or “I’m not at that level, so if you want me to engage, you should promote me.”

Here’s the thing: leadership isn’t about job titles—it’s about ownership.

The best designers don’t wait for the perfect brief or direction. They embrace ambiguity, ask the right questions, and prototype their way to clarity. If you’re waiting for someone to hand you the answers—or the title—you’re missing the opportunity to lead from where you are.

So step up, engage, and contribute, even when it’s messy. That’s where the real impact happens.

Stop Waiting for Permission

Too often, designers hesitate, waiting for a leader to give them the green light. Let me be clear: you were hired for a reason. Your perspective, creativity, and expertise are valuable. Your leader doesn’t have the time—or the desire—to micromanage every decision. They shouldn’t have to.

Early in my career, I was guilty of this, too. I’d draft an email and sit on it for hours, overthinking every word. I’d have an idea but hold back, worrying it wasn’t polished enough. But I noticed something: the people who moved forward weren’t necessarily the most brilliant or most talented—they were the ones who took initiative. They didn’t wait for validation. They acted.

Design is one of the rare fields where you have the power to shape the future. So why wait for someone else to define the conditions? Step in. Take the lead. Tell the story of what could be.

Visibility is Intentional—Not Passive

Let’s be honest: your work won’t always speak for itself.

When I joined Venmo as a product design leader, we were deep into launching the Venmo Credit Card. The priorities were already mapped out, and staying in my lane would have been easy. Instead, I raised my hand to tackle one of the biggest challenges: differentiating our rewards system in an oversaturated market.

It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t straightforward. But it was critical. And by stepping up, I didn’t just contribute—I built trust and credibility.

You're already behind if you’re waiting for someone to notice your work. Don’t wait for the perfect moment or opportunity—volunteer for the complex, ambiguous problems. Be the person who doesn’t just do the job but redefines what’s possible.

Boundaries Matter—We’re Your Leaders, Not Your Caregivers

A good leader cares about your growth and well-being. They advocate for you, create opportunities, and support your success. But here’s the hard truth: they’re not your therapist, parent, or emotional safety net.

I’ve had team members come to me with everything from workplace frustrations to personal struggles. And while empathy is at the core of what we do, I’ve learned that boundaries are essential. Without them, the dynamic becomes unsustainable for both sides.

If you’re struggling, try reframing the conversation. Instead of venting, approach it as a problem to solve: “Hey, I’ve been stuck on this. Do you have any advice?” This shift turns the interaction from emotional unloading into collaborative problem-solving.

And here’s my most significant advice: build a strong support network outside of work. Whether it’s mentors, peers, friends, or a coach, having external support is one of the most valuable investments you can make in your career and well-being.

Leadership is about balance—caring deeply while maintaining boundaries. The most impactful relationships thrive on clarity and mutual respect.

We’re Human Too

Leaders are often held to an impossible standard of infallibility. But here’s the truth: we’re human. We have bad days, make mistakes, and feel impostor syndrome, too.

I’ll never forget when a manager snapped at me in a meeting. My first thought was, Wow, what a jerk. Later, I learned they had just received devastating news about a project they’d poured months into. That moment reminded me: leaders are navigating their pressures while trying to support their teams.

So, don’t take it personally if your leader seems off one day. Extend the same grace you’d want on your worst day.

What This Means for You

The best designers and product thinkers don’t just ship great work—they lead.

They don’t wait for answers; they find them.
They don’t wait for permission; they step up.
They don’t assume their work speaks for itself; they make it undeniable.

Leadership isn’t about titles. It’s about creating the conditions for others to succeed—whether by advocating for the proper research, shaping strategic conversations, or mentoring the next generation of designers.

The messy middle of leadership isn’t glamorous. It’s full of uncertainty. But that’s the work. That’s what makes a difference.

So, what’s your next move?